Awareness doesn't come and go.
The awareness that is generally understood or alluded to is a conceptualized, objectified version of awareness. When saying, "I am aware of this apple I'm holding in my hand" ... that is objectified thinking, not the actual being aware. Saying, "apple" infers a quantifiable, objectifiable something, and one apart from that who is providing the labeling (and related conceptualization) "of" it. Awareness has no "of." There is no derivation "from" it. Awareness is not what is observed out there, as someone else's awareness, nor is it what is inferred about my awareness coming and going (e.g., leaving when I'm asleep or unconscious, and coming back again when I wake up). Awareness is the basis for any present experiencing, and so is never somewhere else, never gone, never yet-to-be. The sense of having an individuated existences, having individual pasts and futures, having individual experiences that are different from other individuals' experience - that sense is constructed moment-to-moment, yet apart from that construction has nothing to it. The fabrication of individual experiences, communication, memories , the sense of time, personal reactions to pain and pleasure, to gain and loss.... ...... the sense of an individual locus for interpretation of pain and pleasure, and a sense of the movement of time (and with it, the sense of moving in space) ..... .......is likened to a dream. If a dream is understood in relation to being awake, then the dream of being awake is understood in relation to what? Saying anything as an answer to that question .......automatically becomes dream manifestation. Desisting from saying anything is the same dream manifestation. There being none or nothing else other than one-isness...... ......one is the dream manifestation, the fabrication, the construction and the constructing/desconstructing. And yet, there being no spatial loci other or apart from one-isness, a needed loci for the dream manifestation to get anchored, hence created or manifested............there can neither be the speaking of it ........nor the absence of speaking. Thus one neither moves, nor stays still. One simply is this awareness that is. Not going anywhere, not having been anywhere - simply manifesting without actually manifesting ......whatever is experienced, as the situation of experience/experiencer, observed/observer (indivisibly so), as a display of what such a pantomime would be like, if the pantomime ever could get to be actually played out.. Which is the intrigue of "awareness" , that it conceptualizes itself as concepts/experiences, while neither being the conceptualization, nor the absence of conceptualization. One-as-awareness, isn't caught by the illusion of the myriad forms of manifestation, its infinite possible experiences in time and versions of memory. Words can't do *anything.* As if words say something. Neither words nor anything else that would be not-words ...........has any power to do anything to make one fully aware. Simply because there already only is this awareness, and nothing that ever divided it from itself. Recognizing this present fact as what it is, is also recognizing that body-mind identification happens, and that getting "caught" by the sense of existing in time, happens. At the same time, (without the connotation of an instant in time) the recognition that no identification has ever happened At the same time, (without the connotation of an instant in time) the recognition that no impediment ever arose, nor any kind of real division that one would have to clear up. Simply put, happenings never happened And not-happening also does not happen. Since the utterance in words of the above assertion is also a happening, the very utterance, (any utterance) neither happens, nor not happens. At the limits of thought, where even the thought of "limits", or the thought of "thought"..........can neither be said to be present or absent..... ...even the alluding to something as awareness......... .......... the very alluding is neither present nor absent. |