16th June 2003


hmm, i read this, then was like, what is it i seek again?  is it freedom?  and from what?  suffering?  (mental i mean) or is it that i seek TRUTH, about reality?  (as in, i feel i've had the wrong idea the whole time, about this REALITY, I know...)  orrrr, could it be, i think more likely, that i seek the end of my MENTAL suffering, and that has led me to "insights" such as, "hey, something seems fishy about this WHOLE thing" 



So what's the final candidate for your seeking?




i suppose, if i don't/can't know what i seek, till it is apperceived(or whatever), by some spontaneous happening, so i'm told, and sense somehow is true, then, well, how COULD i even put it into words what J. thinks he's seeking?


Forget what could happen, what may happen, etc etc.


Right now, there is an activity which is happening through "J." which can be termed as seeking, isn't it?


That activity, taking what shape, through what methodology believed to guarantee success, etc etc,..........is not of much import.


What does "J." believe he is seeking?


What should happen as per "j", which will staisfy "j" that the sought has been nailed.




would you say this is comparable to saying, how can one know what it's like, to jump out of a plane, just by READING about it? 






i can see that this looks like more "mission" creating, or PROLONGING of a mission, but ummmm, yeah, sure


Aaah yes.


Can you see the round and round the mulberry bush?

The cul-de-sac?


Which, on apperception erupts into a song...........


.......Not knowing what I seek

.......Not knowing whether I seek

.......I walk with the wind.





so, if i say, well j, you just have to surrender to the moment, which can only happen as it does, whether it appears i've willed it, or not---THEN,

i read the below, maybe i'd say:

well, the "resistance" to the moment, was NEVER mine, just another arising in the moment.



Whatever is the moment, a gestalt of surrendered living, or a gestalt of a resistance living,.......... is the perfect nuance of the role getting enacted through an instrument labeled "j", in the moment.


Moment to moment to moment.


Seeing this, without having to do anything OR cease the doing of whatever is happening,........


.......is the gestalt of surrendered living.


As Cummings muttered......


Just be,

And if you cannot, cheerfully go about getting involved in your own hoopla as well as the hoopla of others.



Thus if the doing in the moment, is esoteric spiritual exercises, or Tantric meditation, or dervish dancing, or analyzing Lao Tzu against Kantian or Hegelian philosophy,......




the 24 hours doing of charitable deeds of helping out the less fortunate,  or cyber-based List debates.......


..... or being a lazy bum of a hobo on the street..........


...........seeing the perfection of the functioning through a changing-conditioned, psycho-somatic apparatus,..........


..........the functioning through an manifest instrument, manifested with those precise conditioning, such that precisely that "doing" occurs in the moment through it,.....


.......apperceiving this..............


.............and apperceiving that similar is the case for any other manifest object, any other psycho-somatic apparatus, whether through that instrument, "good" is happening or "genocide" is happening........... 


tell me, in this apperception, what issue is left for "j"?



A question that usually arises for the entity (all questions only arise to an entity), when receiving these squiggly signs...........


......would it mean, that seeing a child getting battered, I would walk away, because anyway perfect functioning in the form of a battering is happening?


The answer to that is perfectly simple.


This moment, you have no clue what would be the functioning through "j", in that moment.


If in the perfection of Totality, an instrument which is getting battered, is to be saved by the instrument labled "J.", ........


......then even if you are a physically weak timid, abhoring violence type of person, .....


.....the functioning will empower the instrument with the courage and strength of a lion, and the needful will be done.


And if that battered child is not to be saved by that instrument labled "j", .........you might be a "Bruce Lee" (kung fu expert) and you will stand helplessly rooted to the ground, in that moment.




  even the surrender/resistance to this statement, yet another such movement, NOT from me, just mind following mind, or a dog chasing it's tail...


sorry, i feel like you say things, and i just MISS the whole point sometimes...again, as it should be in this moment eh, i would reply. 




Don't bother.


If you are moved to, ...........read the posts.

Go back to them, if you feel like.


And then forget about them.


That which is to work it's magic if it depends on "j"s understanding or remembering , .............is not the real magic.


Real magic works it's show, despite you.



one more thing, when you've prattled with others, do they ever just "come around?" so to speak? 



Each and every time.

Some explode immediately.

Some take a lifetime or two to explode.

But 100% success ratio.






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